When Your Teen isn't Celebrating School Leavers' Day 

School leavers’ day is a big moment across the UK.
Shirts are being signed, photos are being posted, and proud families are celebrating their teens’ final day of school.

But for some families, this week doesn’t feel like a celebration.

If your child hasn’t been attending school—or if school has become a source of deep distress—you might be feeling something very different.

Grief.
Relief.
Sadness.
Guilt.
Maybe even anger or anxiety about what happens next.

You’re not alone in this.

This isn’t the ending you pictured

When your child started school, skipping in with their oversized backpack and new shoes, you probably imagined this moment.
You might have thought about exam results, sixth form plans, or prom. You probably didn’t imagine that school would one day feel impossible for them.

If your teen is struggling with school attendance—whether due to anxiety, overwhelm, or neurodivergent needs that aren’t being met—this milestone can feel like a punch to the gut. It’s a reminder of everything that’s been hard.

And it’s okay to feel that.

You are allowed to grieve the experience you hoped for

This is not about blame. Not of you, not of your child.

It’s about recognising that this situation is painful. And complex.
And that whatever you’re feeling right now—it makes sense.

You might even feel a strange sense of relief. School has been a battleground, and it’s finally over. That’s valid too.

Equally, your teen may have mixed emotions of their own.
Pride for making it this far. Sadness for what they missed.
Uncertainty about the future.

You can still mark this moment

Even if your child didn’t walk out of school on their last day, this is still a significant life transition—for both of you.

Maybe you light a candle at dinner and acknowledge the journey.
Maybe you buy their favourite cake, or watch a film together.
Maybe you say nothing at all, but sit beside them in quiet companionship.

It doesn’t have to be public. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s celebration.
But it still matters.

And if you’re feeling lost about what’s next…

If school avoidance or anxiety has shaped the last few years—and you’re wondering where to turn—I want you to know: there is help.

I offer specialist EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance) assessments to help you make sense of what’s happening and how to support your child in a way that works for them.

This is more than just a report. It’s a chance to:

• Understand what’s driving the anxiety or avoidance

• Collaborate with school in a meaningful way

• Get clear, practical recommendations

• Feel less alone in a very isolating experience

You don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

You can learn more about EBSA assessments and what they involve here. 

And please remember this:

You are not behind. You are not failing.
You are parenting through something incredibly hard—and doing it with love.

That counts for everything.